Wedding in Mexico

 (text in ENG)

With the happy couple

   In the beginning of October, my husband was invited to his subordinate´s wedding. The wedding took place in Toluca, where we work.

   First of all, the invitation letter stroke me – it wasn´t a regular sized envelope, but a huge (about 40x40cms) letter. As in the Latin-American countries, this invitation was as well not of the bride and the groom, but of their parents and godparents.

   The invitation said “formal” dress code for the reception, which took me wondering; usually formal means long dress, but after reading and searching on the internet, my husband persuaded me that the dress code is not that strict in Mexico and no worries. One day before the wedding however I asked a colleague of mine who recently had her daughter´s wedding, and she said if it is at night and inside, plus the invitation says formal, then it´s definitely long dress. So, the next morning we went shopping…fortunately the wedding started at 6pm, so we had time. We found in a nearby outlet a great little shop where they sell such formal/cocktail dresses – not only that it was outlet, but it was on sale as well, so after trying on dozens of beautiful dresses, I chose one for 600pesos(!). My husband was joking to buy some more so I can wear them for everyday or for doing sports, taking out our dog etc. True, this dress was half of a jacket he bought the other day.

   I was thinking (from the Hungarian customs) that in Mexico as well the “forbidden” colors in a wedding are white and black. Black, because it is the color of the funerals and white (obviously), because it is the color of the bride. However, turns out in Mexico black is OK and instead red is not preferred because red resembles to blood and suffering. The white is just as in Hungary is a “forbidden” color to wear. It was good, that I finally didn´t choose a red dress, because it was one of my 3 final choices. 

The ceremony in the church...

    The wedding started at 6pm in the church. We were told horror stories that the wedding ceremony starts hours late and lasts for hours, but it wasn´t the case. We arrived a little bit late, but the ceremony has already started. Just as we arrived and parked, it started to rain and as we sat down in the church it became a storm so big, that within 2 minutes the church darkened – there was a blackout. Fortunately, the electricity came back in a few minutes, but it might have seemed as a bad omen for the young couple. L Anyway, the ceremony later went on without problem and lasted not more than an hour. After congratulating to the couple, we headed to the reception, which was held in an hacienda nearby. Although it was nearby, we had difficulties to find the place – after 2-3 guides by locals, we found the place but more by luck than by intention.   

   Haciendas are huge, both the house-complex and the surrounding land, so they are usually in remote places. This was the case at this time, as well – the hacienda was in the edge of the city between the poorest part of the town and nowhere. It was strange driving through in formal dress and perfect makeup on dirt roads, among stray dogs and tacos eating locals…

   But finally we found the place and the reception started soon. The place was beautiful, a huge hacienda, with old but good conditioned walls and columns. There were about 200 people sitting at round tables, and of course there was the stage for the band and place to dance. The seats for the couple were arranged in front of the inner garden, which was lightened up for the occasion. (There was even a spectacular firework show from this garden later in the night.)

   For me, again it was strange that in Mexico, where the family is so important, the couple would sit alone. In Hungary, the parents sit together with the couple in the front. But probably, because here it is not only the parents, but grandparents, godparents are equally important it would be difficult to sit everybody on the same place.

   

...and the reception/party

   The food was very good, but strangely little – for the food loving Mexicans, I think the portions were small. And thinking about the Japanese weddings, where people eat for 2 hours straight 5-6 course meals, the meal here was definitely small. But again, in Japan people don´t dance on weddings and here, it seems that the dance is even more important than food. So, around 10pm (one hour after the reception had started) the band started to play and everybody went dancing.   Of course, the majority was Mexican, cheerful music. The party was rather like a concert as people got presents (like balloons, blinking lights etc.) in the middle of the night, so the dance floor looked like a mass of fans in front of the band. We were also presented by little bells, bracelets of crosses, even with slippers(!) (I guess for the women to change their high-heels after dancing). 

   As for the guests, we have used “mesa de regalos”, the American custom for presents: a code came in the invitation to use in a department store and there we just chose our present, paid and the store did everything else: wrapped it and delivered to the couple. It is very convenient and useful (no double presents), but seemed a bit strange not to have an opportunity to give them the present directly. The couple went around the tables during the party and could congratulate them, but it was still a bit lonely so for me. Also, there were bouquet throw of course and (for the bachelors) garter-throw between the rest time of the band.

   The party continued all the way till 3am. I wonder how the Mexicans could stand so much dancing with only one meal in the evening! (In Hungary usually there is a “snack” in the middle of the night.)

   

   We had our wedding in Hungary, had worked part-time in a French restaurant planning weddings in the weekends in Japan and now experiencing one in Mexico, I had to realize again, that every culture is different and has different customs. However, wherever you are, there is one thing sure: weddings are happy occasions all over the world.